Yesterday I started my second round of chemo at Texas Oncology. It’s an amazing place! Before I walked into the infusion room, I asked God to give me the strength to overcome the “bags of he’ll” that is the medicine. Since being diagnosed I’ve read so much about our own, small, daily choices. I put that to the test and chose to walk in happy. Yes, happy. Remember this blog is an experiment after all!
I sat in my recliner and had all my books and the newspaper. I looked around and introduced myself to my neighbors that were older women going through chemo, as well. We chatted and then they explained they had errands to run along with shopping. Classic! I realized these women were making choices just like me. Choices that make them stronger than a disease, divorce, economic fears, whatever.. When they left I felt inspired. I felt strong. Then something happened that made me feel humbled and grateful beyond words. A wife brought in her husband in a wheel chair with a nurse. They looked to be in their 50’s. They had to lift into the recliner b/c it seemed he was almost paralyzed. I once again silently whispered to myself, “My God”. My heart broke for him. You are then reminded of the monster cancer and it can happen to anyone….anyone.
I’m reading “The Power of Positive Thinking” which is a very old book but amazing! It describes how faith and the power of choice can transform your life but also others around you. So, if I get scared or want to cry, I stop, talk to God and choose to believe that the good things I focus on WILL materialize in a blessed manner. So far, it’s working but in small ways. When anyone asks me how I feel I choose to say, “Great! Feeling strong. It’s all good”. People just kind of look at me with a blank stare. I love it. When I left the unit they brought my pack and I tried to wrap it around my waist b/c I thought it was a fanny pack. Oh, the fanny pack! The nurse laughed and explained it goes over my shoulder. “Like a man purse”! She just kept laughing. Fanny pack to man purse. Too bad I’m not doing chemo in Europe! Choices…all about choices.
You cannot always do something to help your friends, but you can always be something to help them if your own lamp of faith and love shines clear.